*edit*
i've always been afraid of JKD ppl b/c of their speed, but this is just fucking ridiculous...
so last friday we threw a party in honor of our friend mitch hedberg who, it pains me to say, left us a year ago. the party this time was slower than usual and we ran out of beer towards the end of the night, but overall it was still pretty fun. i slept way too much after the party that i missed the mike jones concert the next day, but everyone tells me that he sucked. and he did. i'll steal a clip of it later to prove my point.
honorable mentions: harwin, robin, suyash, and of course, connie! you people are welcome at mi casa any time, although next year i might be living in a box under the highway:)
paul the russian-joo and my fellow longhorns felipe and alvin should swing by more often too.
for the record, we did not hire a stripper for the party. people just started stripping. and since we have no control of what crazy girls want to do with their bodies, we did not take action to challenge their freedom of speech through expression.
today is my roomate's birthday. i want to give brian kendall a shout-out. well actually, just a question: isn't it really weird that you are no longer a teenager? i think 20 is actually very hard to take. cuz for such a long time you've been a teen and now all of a sudden u're something else!
a few of mitch's words i leave you with:
I make instant oatmeal in the morning then I don't do shit for an hour. Makes me wonder why I need the instant oatmeal. I could make the regular oatmeal and feel productive.
You know they call corn on the cob 'corn on the cob,' but that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that 'corn,' and call every other version 'corn off the cob.' It's not like if you cut off my arm you would call it 'Mitch.' Then reattach it and call me 'Mitch-all-together...'
I had a parrot. It talked, but it did not say, "I'm hungry,"... so it died.
This one time I was in a convenience store, and a guy came up and asked me, "What's the score?" and I said, "What is the game? If it's a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn't give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing.
I was in a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, so every bite was a surprise as to how much cheese I had applied to each cracker. That's why I believe they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too.
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Xylophone is spelled with an X. It should be a Z. Xylophone ZZZ X, I don't fucking see it. Next time you spell Xylophone, spell it with a Z. If someone tells you that's wrong, say "no it ain't." If you think that that's wrong then you need to get your head Z-Rayed.
I hate it when someone hands me a picture and says "here's a picture of me when I was younger..." Every picture of you is when you were yonger you dickweed.
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